One of the most important relationships in our life is the one we have with “ourself” and believe it or not, some people struggle with it almost all their lives, trying to find the right answers. I have struggled with it enough to talk about it today and trust me when i say this, that everything i am going to share in this post is tried & tested! I really hope you will find some ideas to work on for restoring the happiness in your life, just like i did! 😊
How often do we nourish the relationship we have with ourselves? How often do we make ourself, or our own happiness, a priority? We spend a lot of time giving. Giving ourself to others, to our work and most of the time running for things that are not even meant for us, not focusing on what really makes our heart happy.
If you are someone who have had issues with finding what makes your soul shine or what makes you get out of bed and do something for your personal nourishment, this post is for you! I am sharing everything i have tried so far and still working on it and that has literally helped me find my personal calling for creating a better life for my present self. So let’s get started…
1. Stop looking around and focus on your goals, everyday!
You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else. Plan to outdo your past, not other people. You will feel much ore happier when you focus on your life solely.
2. Make yourself a priority. And make time for doing things you love.
I read this somewhere and it pretty much sums up what i am trying to say here:
“You should do what you said you were going to do that one time, before you got all tired and then got super busy and pretty much forgot…you really should!” 👈
You give a lot of yourself to others, but how much do you give to yourself? Don’t stop giving yourself to others, but realize that you can’t pour from an empty cup. DO things that makes your soul happy, even if it is something small like riding a bicycle or reading a book or painting, make a list of things to do throughout the day. It’s when your soul is happy and shining, then only you can share your happiness with others.
3. Get comfortable being “you”, proudly and genuinely!
Here’s a sad truth about life that you should know: Being yourself is going to make some people extremely uncomfortable. They will dislike you solely to feel better about themselves 🙁. I can’t tell you how many times have i experienced this in my life and that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that this has happened to me by some of the closest people, people i have referred to as friends or family and that hurts the most! It took me years and years to realize that it’s not because i am different or i am crazy, but its the people who have their insecurities. If you change yourself in order to fit into their standards, chances are that they will push you down and do the exact same things you have planned for your life.
Stand tall, always & always, no matter how crazy you think you are, be yourself! Respect your choices, your way of seeing things, your perspective towards life, everything about you and stick to it, the world will adjust really. And if someone cannot accept how awesome you are, let them go!
And which is why you should….
4. Disconnect with things and people who are toxic to your growth and don’t respect you.
Do i need to explain this one? 🙂
5.Stop looking for happiness in big things, focus on small everyday things.
For the longest time since last year, I have been quite unhappy with my life. Mostly because it did not go as planned, i wasn’t ready for what life was throwing at me and i wasted much time waiting for the time when everything will start falling into place. Well, guess what? That never happened and life still sucks lol 😅. That day, that moment i have been waiting for, never came! Instead, i learnt to stop waiting on big things to happen. Because while i was waiting for big things to happen, the small things around me and probably the important ones, were being ignored and not given enough credit. A lot of times i have missed on life’s best moments focusing on a better tomorrow, forgetting to enjoy what i have in my hands right now. I wish i could go back in time and relive some of those moments but that’s not gonna happen!
And which is why i have been practicing…
6. To live in the moment!
And seize every day as it comes, every small thing around me that i can enjoy at the moment. Some of them are simplest joys of life such as an evening walk during warm sunny days before winter arrives, wearing cool summer dresses, exploring our neighborhood, painting, decorating my house by small DIY projects and many more things. What you have now will never be the same in future, you will have better things to do then, better clothes to wear, better place to stay, so start enjoying the things you already have. 🌻🌻
7. Stop comparing your life with others.
This is an important one!
Behind the smile you see in my pictures, is a person who is suffering from chronic neck pain and sleepless nights due to insomnia, increased thyroid levels and PCOS. Too much information to grasp right? But honestly, If you are someone who compares your life to all the lively, spirited, gleeful pictures i post online then you must not! Coz now you know what all i am going through, although i still try my best to share my real self & personal experiences with you all but you should know that not everyone does that. Don’t be fooled by what people try to show you through social media, they are not sharing their failures with you, just the happy times. Don’t compare your bad times with someone else’s good times and certainly do not judge anyone for their success, you don’t know what all they have gone through to get there. Chances are, once you know about their life and struggles associated with it, you might start liking your life better, so why bother really?
Concentrate on your life and your goals. Take time to follow your own path and enjoy the journey. If you feel inspired by someone’s way of living life, take notes but certainly do not follow blindly. You are here to live your life, don’t waste it comparing it with someone or living someone else’s life. 🌻
You know what will make a difference? Pour your heart and soul into everything you do and watch every aspect of your life change one by one!
8. Declutter & simplify your life:
Do you believe in art? I am sure you do! You may not be an artist but you surely do enjoy some kind of art (hopefully, otherwise we can’t be friends 😂, just kidding). There’s art in living a slow life and a simple one. When we focus on materialistic possessions and superficial things in life, theres always a race going on in our minds, chasing for more & more. We are never satisfied or happy with what we already have, ever! No wonder there are so many examples of rich people not quite happy or satisfied with their lives, in fact they are quite disconnected with the idea of simply living a fulfilling life.
Focus on those things that makes your soul happy and do more of that. Declutter everything or every thought that doesn’t make you happy anymore, it could be clothes that you don’t wear anymore, things that you don’t use, people who haven’t been kind to you. Declutter! It’s then, that you make space for all good things in your life.
9. Stop worrying about things you cannot control:
I am 28 yrs old and i have countless grey hair, how do you think i got them 😂? Last year i touched rock bottom seriously! I constantly worried about things that were totally out of my control and even my body couldn’t take it and i was diagnosed with high cholesterol levels, increased thyroid, vitamin deficiency and really what not i tell you!..That was the time i realized it wasn’t worth it! Life is tough and there are challenges at every corner, some thing you can control but not everything. But what you can do is to stop worrying and take life as it comes to you through open arms. You cannot believe how much lighter that feels in the head when you finally let it go! Let it be…
10. Love more, Judge less!
My current motto of life: ” A little more kindness and a little more love each day” 😊. Not everyone we meet in life is same as us, in fact no two people are same in this entire world. Have you ever realized that we as humans, judge others so quickly but don’t want to be judged ourselves by others?
Often we judge others when we’re jealous of them in some way, because they have something, like a position, status, or role, which we don’t. We also judge when our desires or expectations aren’t met and then we think, “How could they do that?” or if someone does something we never expected out of them. We judge too quickly and for such little things, mainly because its easy to judge than accept someone’s success and feel genuinely happy about it.
Would you want people to judge you and be jealous of your achievements? No, right? If you are someone like me who has been judged over small things such as having facial hair, or being born in Delhi and other ineffectual opinions, then you would know how it feels and why is it important to stop ourselves from doing that.
“Also, Judge, but don’t condemn“. If you hear that someone has done something terrible, judgement is when you tell yourself that you will not do that. But don’t condemn the other, as that kills the love you have for that person and intentionally or not, you start judging everything they do in life and not in a good way.
When we shift our thoughts from judging to accepting, not only others, but also ourselves, we can restore our happiness.
11. Be gentle with yourself.
I kept this one for the last because this has been such a difficult one for me throughout life. It surprises me that i often tend to put myself down, when things don’t go the right way and constantly criticize myself and i keep thinking about it all day long, being too hard on myself than i actually deserve.
Its so important to be gentle with yourself and let yourself makes mistakes and learn from them. Life is all about learning and getting better at it each day, no one is perfect and that’s alright!!!
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Concept and styling: Tanvi Mutneja (@tanvi_msidhu)
Photography : Rajvir Sidhu